A wedding is a glorious paradox — a public proclamation of your most private feelings. It’s a pageant, a party, a procession, a promise of things to come. The best weddings which are not necessarily the most expensive or elaborate truly express the feelings of the bride and groom toward one another and for their families and friends. Tradition and innovation should blend harmoniously to make your wedding a memorable day.

Popular Trends in Today’s Weddings

What are some of the latest trends for weddings in Canada? Nearly everyone opts to have their ceremony and reception videotaped as well as photographed today. If you’d like to do this, be sure to ask the clergyman or official performing the ceremony whether any restrictions apply. An experienced video professional will want to see the site and should ask pertinent questions about the wedding party, the type of ceremony and if there are any special moments or people that should be highlighted. Remember, your tape will be edited, so if there is something (or someone) you don’t want to appear in the final version, be sure to tell the videographer.

Silk flowers are another trend. They last forever, providing a souvenir of the special day for the bride and all her attendants. But not all silk flower artists are of equal talent. Ask to see photos and samples of the designer’s work. Be careful about colors. Outrageous shades instantly proclaim that the flowers are not real.

Many couples are asking friends or relatives to participate in their ceremony. Perhaps a favorite uncle will read from the Scripture, or the two mothers will each light candles at the beginning of the ceremony. Then, during the ceremony, the bride and groom light a single candle from the two maternal flames. Weaving personal statements about the union into the ceremony can make the rehearsal a bit more complicated, but the actual event can gain in meaning and emotional impact.

About the rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, it includes the wedding party and parents. No one else. But over the past few years, many couples have expanded the guest list to include favorite relatives and friends who are coming to town a few days before the wedding. If the groom’s family is paying for the dinner, as is traditional, they will need to sanction any additions. The bride’s family should offer to pay for any extra guests from their side. In the case of really large family weddings, the rehearsal dinner becomes a buffet supper at a private home or an informal barbecue, and the celebration takes on a party atmosphere more than the feeling of a formal dinner.

Many other details are changing as well. For example, throwing rice at the happy couple outside the church is seldom done anymore. People prefer birdseed, because no one has to sweep it up and it’s a nice treat for birds and squirrels, too.

Whether you incorporate such new trends into your special day or follow time-honored tradition, all the experts agree that planning is the secret to success. If you like to keep lists, you have a head start. Invest in a spiral notebook or index cards and a file box. Write down everything. Keeping rate records from the outset will save precious hours, reduce stress and save money. If you have a year to six months to plan the wedding, excellent. If not, get help.

Consult experts. The best are recent brides, because they have a wealth of fresh knowledge, amusing stories and sound advice about little things you may overlook. Professional wedding consultants can provide invaluable help. Don’t be shy about asking for references. Armed with expert advice and counsel and a detailed strategy, you’ll be able to approach the actual event with peace of mind and put the focus where it belongs — on shared feelings of love and joy.

A quick course in wedding clothes

Clothes make the wedding. What the bride wore is what guests remember longest and talk about the most. So be sure the attire you select evokes the mood and tone you want to establish. Everything starts with the bride’s dress. There is a prevailing trend towards simple wedding dresses these days, but it makes sense to go straight to an established bridal shop or full-service department store with an extensive bridal boutique and get a first-hand idea of the possibilities.

In general, the attire of the groom and his party is determined by the time of day. Traditionally, dove or dark-gray cutaways are for daytime, and the black tuxedo is reserved for evening weddings. But that’s changing. Nowadays, 80 percent of wedding parties choose the black tuxedo no matter what the time of day. Some wedding experts like to see the groom in a tail coat so he’s easily distinguished from the ushers and best man. You always know who the bride is at the reception, but it’s not so easy to set the groom apart.

In the old days, the mother of the bride selected her color and style, while the mother of the groom wore beige and kept quiet. Things are more flexible today, but first choice still belongs to the m.o.b.

Choose the outfits at least three months in advance of the wedding to allow for special orders and alterations. Hemlines are everywhere, so you need not match the length of the outfit to the time of day, although you generally wouldn’t wear a floor-length gown until after 5 p.m. Simple suits are a good choice for weddings early in the day. Shoes must be fabric. They should be either silk, satin or a texture, such as lace. We don’t advise dying shoes to match anymore; there are plenty of colors out there to coordinate. Stockings should match the outfit and be sheer and shimmery. Carry a small clutch bag. If you have favorite jewelry you want to wear, be sure to bring it when shopping for a dress or suit.

THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE

Natural beauty is the byword.

Every bride wants to look beautiful, but don’t make the mistake of choosing an over-elaborate hairstyle or theatrical makeup. The whole idea is to look radiant, natural and glowing. Tips from makeup experts: remember that white or ivory shades don’t add color to the face and plan to boost your natural glow with gentle blush and perhaps one of the new shimmery mineral powders.

Bring the bridal headpiece to the hair salon, since the style must be worked around it. Wedding hairstyles are a fashion segment unto themselves. Hair worn up is currently popular. The look is soft and romantic, very touchable and not structured. Schedule a French manicure the morning of the wedding and makeup that imparts a delicate blush. It’s all part of the process that helps the bride and wedding party look picture perfect.

GIFTS OF LOVE

The joys of registering

To register or not to register? Definitely register. It makes sense to let friends and relatives know your preferences. Brides used to take their mothers when they chose which gifts to put on the register. Today the bride and groom go together and select the household and luxury items they want to share.

The store computer keeps track of what has been purchased and what still needs to be bought. A wedding guest simply needs to go to the store, give the salesperson the names of the bride and groom, and a print-out is fast on the way. Registering is practical for you and provides a great convenience for your friends and family. Do it. Experts say the hardest part of the process is getting the bride and groom to agree on what they want. Hash out as much as you can before you get to the department store. Your first fight should not be over gifts.

DESTINATION: ROMANCE

Planning the perfect honeymoon

Travel agents have the scoop on honeymoon packages and can get you the best deals. Remember, you don’t pay travel agents anything, so it makes sense to enlist their knowledge and experience. The trick is deciding on what you want to do and then letting an expert get you there. Invest quality time in planning, and you’ll be happy with the result.