Thank you notes are governed by the rules of etiquette. Here we cover the traditional and modern thank you note styles, and how to word a thank you note. Whether you choose the traditional mongraphed note cards or a more modern alternative, we cover the etiquette of how to thank your guests, how to return gifts and the option of using stationary instead of thank you cards.
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Thank you notes are an important part of wedding etiquette, and they follow very distinct rules. To start with, thank you notes are sent to everyone who gives you a gift—whether it is a gift of money, or a toaster. Thank you notes are sent after you receive the gift, and since many wedding gifts are received before the wedding, those thank you notes can be sent off before your wedding. Having a system to track gifts received and thank you notes sent is a very important aspect of your wedding.
Thank you notes must always be hand written, and are usually written by either the bride or groom. They follow this format:
- Identify the giver
- Thank you for…..(identify the gift unless it is money)
- If it is money, you thank them for ‘your kindness,’ ‘your generosity,’
- Express gratitude from the both of you
- Show how it will be used
- Identify past and future relationship with the giver
- Say Thank You again
- Sign off: Yours truly, Love, With Love, etc.
What you say should be genuine and sound natural. Be yourself. Be enthusiastic, but don’t ‘gush’.
Never tell someone you are exchanging their gift (even if you are). If someone sends you a gift in the mail, send the thank you note within a few days or acknowledge the receipt in some other way. You will still need to send a thank you note.
Traditional thank you notes are usually monogrammed—they have your initials. If you are into the proper etiquette of things, you would have some thank you notes with your single initials for those notes you send while you are still single, and some notes with your married initials for those notes you send once you are married. If both you and your husband are writing thank you notes for the wedding gifts, then your monogrammed stationary would have your last-name initial. Never used pre-printed thank you notes and just sign your name, or email someone instead of sending a thank you note. There is no substitute for a hand-written thank you note.
If you are looking for a modern alternative, you can choose thank you notes that are contemporary that match your wedding invitations.
For those who prefer the tradition of writing a short letter instead of sending a thank you note, you will purchase stationary following the same monogram rules as the thank you note, or purchase a contemporary design to go with your wedding invitations.