We explore the importance of tracking your wedding gifts, and how to write that all important thank you note. Mass thank you notes are not acceptable, and etiquette dictates the proper way in which to compose a thank you note.
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The rules of etiquette regarding thank you notes is as clearly defined as the gift giving process. Here are the key elements of thank you cards:
1. You never tell someone you exchanged their gift for something else. What you do is thank them for their gift.
2. If it is a gift of money, you don’t mention it in your thank you note, but use phrases like ‘thank you for your generosity’.
3. You never say you used their gift of money to pay for debts, bills, or the cost of the wedding.
So, how do you thank your guests for their gifts? You write a hand written thank you note. No other method is acceptable.
What do you say in the thank you note? You start by identifying whom you are sending the note to by stating their name. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jones, or Dear Uncle Jim and Aunt Sally.
Next, you identify the gift, express gratitude from the two of you, and show how it is used or how it will be used. Be personal. “The crystal vase you gave us is absolutely beautiful, and Phil and I are excited that it completes our crystal set perfectly. It is sitting on the dining room table as I write, filled with flowers that Phil brought home for me yesterday.”
If it was a gift of money, you never mention that in the thank you note. Instead you use phrases like: your generosity, or your kindness. For example: “Thank you for your generosity. Phil and I really appreciate it.” AND you follow the rule to show how it will be used. “It will be a great help when we purchase our new home.” DO NOT say you will use it to pay off your bills—even if you are. It is in bad taste.
Identify your past and future relationship with the giver. “Mom tells me that you just came back from Australia. I hope we can meet soon to visit and share stories about your trip.”
End with another Thank you, and sign off. “Thanks again for the beautiful vase.” Love, Leslie. You can use “Yours truly” or any other phrase that feels natural to you.
If the groom is writing the note, he will follow the same rules in writing the note, and then sign it.
The key element is to be genuine in your thankfulness. Be personal. Be gracious and thankful. Thank you notes should be written and sent as you receive your wedding gifts. All thank you notes should be sent within three months of your wedding day.
It is very important that you keep track of people who send you gifts, and that they each receive a thank you note. Use our SmartBride Gift List to help you keep track.