Wedding etiquette is most important around wedding gifts, bridal registries, and thank you notes. Although you cannot ask for a gift, there are acceptable ways in which to inform your guests of your gift wishes. And, there are so many different kinds of gift registries available that you do have many choices, and we guide your through it all.
The following article is an example of the content we have in our online wedding planning membership site HappyWeddings.ca under the heading of Bridal Registry. To learn more and get useful wedding planning tools for FREE, click here!
A bridal registry is a place within a business where you can put your wish list of products that that particular store sells that you would like to get for a wedding gift. When your guests are pondering what to get you for a wedding gift, they can check a registry to see what you want, and once it is purchased, the business will take that item off the list so the next person doesn’t buy a duplicate.
There are very definite “dos and don’ts” around gift giving and receiving, and wedding etiquette is very clear about it.
1. Never ask for a gift. A gift is something freely given by the giver. Although it is common to use a bridal registry, purists say that this is still asking for a gift and is not acceptable. Bridal registries are considered acceptable, but information about them must be given verbally. It is unacceptable to make a list of bridal registries and put it in your bridal shower or wedding invitation.
2. Word of mouth is the only acceptable way to ask for a gift, and it must be initiated by the giver of the gift. If a guest were to phone your family or bridal party to ask what you want for your wedding, it is acceptable for them to tell your guests where you are registered.
3. Never ask for money. You might want money, but you cannot ask for it. But, there is a modern alternative that is acceptable. If you prefer money as a gift, and if a guest were to phone your family or bridal party to ask what you want for your wedding, it is acceptable for them to tell your guests that you prefer a gift of money.
If you get money for your wedding, you NEVER say that you used it to pay your bills or pay off your debt. You might use it for that, but you don’t say that you do. Money is given so you can buy something with it, and most people use it for a down payment on a home. In fact, many banks now have bridal registries so your guests can make a deposit in your name going towards a down payment on a home, or some other specific purpose.
Our next topic explores the many different kinds of bridal registries available to you.